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Rules for the Family
1.) We respect the rights and feelings of everyone.
- We do not engage in name-calling or put-downs.
- We do not use foul language or profanity.
- We say to everyone
when appropriate: please, thank you, I'm sorry, I give my word.
- We do not interrupt; we wait to talk. (No interrupting parents when they're with others, either personally or on the phone, unless the matter's urgent - and then we say, "Excuse me please...")
- We do not talk back when corrected.
- We do not make promises lightly; but if we do, we keep our word.
- We treat appointments and deadlines as binding promises; if we cannot keep them, despite our best efforts, we render sincere apology.
- We respect each other's privacy and personal property; we knock before entering a closed room, get prior permission before borrowing.
- We do not bicker or quarrel at the dinner table.
- We do not gossip about people, or otherwise talk negatively about people behind their backs.
- We mind our own business; we stay out of matters that do not concern us.
- We greet adults with good manners and a firm handshake.
- We give guests the best of what we have.
- We practice good telephone manners, and thus bring honor to our family.
- If we have offended, we apologize - even if we did not mean to give offense.
- We put justice and charity ahead of our pride.
- If someone renders an apology to us, we accept it - for it is dishonorable to refuse to make peace.
2.) We all contribute to make our home an attractive, civilized, and efficiently run place to live.
- We enter the house with clean footwear only; if we accidentally make a mess, we clean it up.
- Males do not wear hats or caps indoors.
- We do not return a car home with less than a quarter-tank of gas.
- We do not slam doors; if we do so by accident, we say, "I'm sorry..."
- We do not bring "outdoor activities" indoors; running, ball playing, missile-throwing, roughhouse wrestling, unreasonable shouting.
- We do not shout messages from one room to another; we walk to wherever someone is and then deliver the message in a normal voice.
- We do not consume food or drink in bedrooms. No eating outside the kitchen, dining room, and recreation room.
- We do not overindulge in food or drink; no unauthorized eating between meals.
- We hang up clothing when not in use; all clothing is in one of three places - on us, in closets and dressers, or in laundry for cleaning.
- We lay out clothes at night for the next morning.
- If old enough to do so, we make our own beds in the morning.
- We put playthings and tools away when not in use.
- If we've eaten off, or drunk out of, something - then we rinse or wash it and put it where it belongs.
- If we've borrowed something, we return it where it belongs; if we have lost a borrowed item, we either replace it or pay for it.
- We fulfill "house responsibilities" (chores) promptly and to the best of our ability. This includes assignments for school.
- We can all make suggestions ("input") about many things in family life, but parents make decisions in serious matters.
- We do not aim for "results" but rather for personal best effort
3.) We give people information they need to carry out their responsibilities.
- When we go out, we always inform: Where? With whom? When return?
- If we are going to be late, we call.
- We get prior permission, with at least one day's notice, for sleepovers, camping trips and the like. Insufficient notice may mean no permission.
- We come straight home from school, except with prior permission.
- We bring home all new friends and introduce them to parents.
- We return from social events at a reasonable hour, one that has been previously agreed upon.
- We take phone messages intelligently: name of caller, time called, phone number of caller (if applicable), gist of message (if any) name or initials of person who took the call.
- In general, we avoid "unpleasant surprises" in the family.
4.) We use the media to promote family life and welfare; we do not permit the media to work against family life and welfare.
- We have nothing in the home that offends our moral principles and treats people like mere objects (materialism): this means no pornography, no gratuitous violence, and no depictions of rudeness or gross vulgarity.
- This pertains to TV, movies, video games, music lyrics, and posters.
- We will watch TV and video movies together; sports, high quality films and programs, news and documentaries...and that's it.
- We do not watch TV on school nights...unless we watch together as noted above.
- If we squabble over TV or video games, we get one warning to stop; if the problems persist, the activity is terminated.
- We keep use of the telephone under reasonable control: no calls during dinner or homework or after 10:00 PM; no outgoing calls after 9:30 PM except for emergencies, calls limited to 15 minutes.
- We devote most of family life to healthy work and play, not glued to a tube
- We spend our time in conversation, reading, study, chores, and games - getting to know and appreciate each other in the few precious years we have together as a family.
5.) We love and serve God above all things; we thank Him and ask His help for our needs and those of others.
- We thank God by worshiping Him together on Sunday.
- We dress well for church - because God is more important than anyone, and we give Him our very best.
- We pray before meals and bedtime and on other special occasions. God lives in our family, not just in church.
- We treat clergy with respect, gratitude, and affection...and we pray for them and their needs.
- We pray for each other, for the Church, and for all those in need.
- We rely on God's help to forgive our sins and lead us to surpass our limitations.
- We are always conscious that God is watching over us with His fatherly protection...and our lives thus become a sporting adventure.
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Archdiocese of Saint Paul & Minneapolis
- Office for
Marriage, Family and Life
Phone: 651-291-4488 / Email: spmmfl@archspm.org
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